Monday, August 3, 2009

"My Paris"

Eucch! "My Paris." I sound like such a pompous ass when I say that. But really, I feel like I am getting to know a whole different Paris from my other two trips here. From what I remember, and God knows how long it has been (no need for my friends to comment here about my lack of dates), tourists see Paris like a first date, dressed up, makeup covering the zits, push-up bra making more of her assets, squeezy underwear making less of her deficits, a little red lipstick to mimic sexual interest.

Yes, maybe Paris is a bit of slut, but it does make her popular with the boys. She gives a few kisses (Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Notre Dame) at the beginning to be friendly and then she stands her ground before giving up anything else - hardware stores, electrical tape, the best baguette, etc. I feel like a guy trying to get to third base, not sure where third base is anymore, but it sounds like a good metaphor.

So I am trying to get up Paris's skirt. Really. And she is being such a bitch about it.

Note to Paris:
Give it up already and stop treating me like an Algerian terrorist. You know you want me.


  1. Two posts in one night, damn that cheap wine must be good. Yes, my dear, there are many different sides to many cities, "my Rome" and Leslie's Rome and Your Rome are all very different. That's why i always like to go back multiple times. Besides, you can always count on first impressions. I hate when people say "i had a horrible time there, I'll never go back", really? Did you give it a proper chance, probably not.

    And to add in the bases analogy just makes me laugh out loud, "back in my day..." really, Ed Grimly?? Too funny! Great memories. Thanks for that picture!

  2. Well, when you get up her skirt, make sure you're well protected!

    Sorry, couldn't resist.

  3. push up bra? Squeezy underwear? How many cocktails have you had?

  4. hmmm... can i edit my comment, it should have read "you CAN'T always count on first impressions." opps... and that was without a bottle of wine.


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