Jeannie's No-Cake Birthday Concoction

I hate when people say that they don't like cake. Or brownies, or chocolate, or caramel. Really, how can you not like caramel? It never did anything to you, unless you lost a tooth on it. But how can a person not like anything caramel? It is like saying you don't like butter. Uggg.

So imagine going to pastry school for a year, practicing how to make all of the above for another year. Thinking that you are going to make all the cakes for everyone you know for their birthday. Planning extravagant decorations and delicious icing combinations.

First, your mother says she doesn't want a cake, chocolate mousse is more her style.

Then, your nephew announces he doesn't like cake, so you make chocolate chip cookies in the shape of his name.

Then your other nephew declares he doesn't want a cake or even cupcakes, but says you can make him some brownies. So you do that.

So the next birthday is your sister's, and you start thinking of a crazy chocolate cake maybe with some gold leaf, and spun sugar. And then she starts saying that she doesn't even want to have a birthday dinner. What are you going to do?

Make a No-Cake Birthday Cake with a little of everything that she loves:

Cadbury Mini Eggs - check

Ganache Frosting - check

Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream - check

Crispy Chocolate Chip Cookies - check

Layer of Salted Caramel - check

Chocolate Chip Mocha Brownies - check

It looks a little something like this after the demolition.

Don't ask me about the Napoleon I am making today. Please, someone, ask me for a cake - vanilla with chocolate icing, maybe?